The Beast of Bodmin Moor
A gravelly groan rumbled in Jake’s throat when he did lowering himself onto Phin’s body, sealing their sweat-sticky skin together. The scent of sex hung heavy in the air; a husky musk so sublime, Phin never wanted to do washing again. He wanted to wear it forever. It wreathed around them like incense; as heady as swirls of smoke. So tangible, Phin felt as if he might do reaching out to trail his fingers through it.
Phin wrapped his arms around the heavy heat pressing him to the bed and hooked his legs around Jake’s, entwining their calves. When plush lips descended, it was a lush smudge of melting mouths and tangled tongues.
“Did I hurt you…more than you expected?” Jake’s voice was gritty with worry, his gaze searchlight bright.
“No… it did burning at first, but I soon forgot to do remembering.”
“Now? I’m very fine.” Phin assured him, eyes wide, unblinking, allowing blowtorch blue to do boring holes in his soul.
“Without a doubt, but are you also very…sore?” Jake persisted, narrowing his gaze as if to do probing with laser precision.
“Sore?” Phin did pondering for a mo, for appearances sake. “No…I thought I might be, but nope. Should I be?”
“Yeah… I wonder—” When Jake broke off, Phin could almost hear his cogs do whirring. “That seems probable…”
“When I…did filling you up, it may have...soothed matters.” Jake sounded more than a bit bashful, which was as adorable as it was incongruous. Being a bad-ass beastie, an’ all.
“So, we don’t have to do waiting?” Phin’s gaze felt as if it should be as glinty as Jake’s, like brown set ablaze rather than burnt umber.
“I couldn’t say no, even if I wanted to…” The low rumble that vibrated against Phin’s chest felt as if it came from his own. Almost a growl, but not quite; more of a foxy purr.
“Is Foxy okay, Jake? Did he…is he happy?”
“Happy? So much so, he segued straight to smug.”
“Well, you did make him do waiting for nothing, so I’d say he’s entitled to be, but that would also sound a mite smug, so I won’t.”
“It’s a good job you didn’t do saying it then, isn’t it?” Jake smirk sabotaged his attempt to do looking cross, but his brows furrowed in the middle when he asked, “Phin…D’you feel…different?”
“Of course I do, I don’t feel like a virgin. Jake? Was it…disappointing, for you…? I didn’t know what I should be doing…” Phin trailed off, scrabbling in his stash of words for ones that wouldn’t do sounding as stupid as he felt.
“Fuck no. NO. Never, ever think that, your body sure as hell did, for a start. I don’t know how it felt for you…but for me? I’ve never felt so…damn. Much. Too much…in the best of ways. Phin…never think that’s a ‘bad’ thing, I don’t give a shit what you’ve been told, it’s the very thing I love mo—” It sounded as if the rest of Jake’s sentence had been bitten off before he could do saying it. Why? Had he realised it would suggest more than he meant? Was he worried that Phin would do assuming too much? In the wrong way?
“It’s okay…” Phin assured him. “I know that’s called a ‘turn of phrase’. I’m not supposed to do interpreting those literally.”
“Fuck. No. I-I need a drink, I’ll be back in a sec—” Jake almost flipped himself off Phin’s body and landed so lightly the whoosh of air left in his wake was louder. When the click of the lamp switch did flooding the room with fluorescence, Phin flinched and slammed his lids shut. It felt akin to staring straight into the sun.
“Sorry. Won’t be a mo…” Jake swished from the room, one of the most delicious sights Phin had ever seen, despite his blazing eyeballs. Blimey…how many watt-nots were in that bulb? A thousand? It was too intense to do getting accustomed to, so Phin did averting his head and propped their pillows against the headboard to lean against. Jake came back in a matter of moments, clutching two brimming tumblers of amber liquid. Whiskey. Phin had no idea how he could tell, until Jake did handing him a glass and he caught a concentrated whiff of its contents.
“When I asked if you felt different…” Jake began, after sinking down to sit beside Phin, “I…didn’t mean in…the way you expected to. I’m worried that you might…”
“Turn foxy?” Phin supplied, not a jot surprised. He knew Jake must have feared consequences he hadn’t done admitting to. He’d been fretting about far more than mad-axing. It was the future he’d been afraid of, not Phin’s lack of one.
“Yes. Foxy is a jackal…hence ‘Jack’. I’m sorry I lied…about my name…and the rest of it. I was terrified of losing you, no matter how selfish that made me. I’m so sorry, Phin. If I hadn’t healed your head the moment we…met, I wouldn’t have been able to justify so much as kissing you. It was already too late, if my saliva could…infect you. I was too afraid you’d bleed to death, to consider the consequences. It was my fault you fell…I had to at least try and clean it up, the gash was all crusted with grit. I should never have let it go further, but…I’ve done nothing but fill you with…body fluids ever since, as Jack so helpfully pointed out. I loathe myself more than you could ever hate me…which is no consolation, I know.”
“Jack...it’s perfect. I’m glad he has a proper name. Oh, I’ve done addressing him a lot, haven’t I? I kept getting your names in a muddle. I knew he wasn’t a wolf and he’s the wrong colour for a fox…but by the time I saw him close up, he was already Foxy in my head. I don’t hate you, either of you, y’daftie…that’s as far from true as possible.” After a brief pause, Phin added, as airy as can be, “I hope I do.”
“What?!” Jake did spluttering whiskey through his nose. Oouch, that must sting something chronic.
“You would’ve heard, even if I’d done whispering it, which I didn’t, so ‘what’ off. I hope you have, I’d like that. But Jake….it’s not a full moon, so you can’t be a were-jackal, surely? You seem to do changing whenever you wish…like a shape-shifter. Isn’t it supposed to be…hereditary?”
“I dunno, what makes you so sure?” Jake asked, shooting Phin a surprised side-eye.
“You don’t know? I read it. Werewolves have infectious bites, but shape-shifting seems to be inherited…well, it is in the books I’ve read, anyhoo. Can your family do changing?”
“No. I grew up amongst hippies, not a pack of jackals. My sister hasn’t shifted, she would have told me, without a doubt. I would be able to sense it now…even if I’d been oblivious back then. As for the rest of my family? My mum would have had us paying homage to the jackal gods every damn dawn at a candle-lit shrine…if we’d survived the sheer stench of joss-stick fumes,” Jake snorted.
“Jake…haven’t you done telling anyone?” Phin winced, when his heart did wrenching. “You’ve lived with this alone?“
His head was abuzz with a zillion questions he wanted to ask—about how and why and what and where—but Jake seemed to know less than Phin. How the bejeezus had he done managing that? Phin would have done scouring out every scrap of legend and lore he could find. That didn’t matter a jot though, compared to the fact Jake had done suffering it alone.
“It’s not something you can announce at dinner, is it? They’d think I’d lost my marbles, I’d probably wake up in a straight-jacket. My dad would rather know less truths about his son, not more.” His voice was so bitter with self-loathing Phin could almost taste it.
“How I wish you’d had someone. It must have been terrifying…if you didn’t know what was happening. P’raps worse to be alone when you did.” Words seemed useless and might be unwelcome. What could Phin say when he didn’t know how Jake felt? How it felt? He could only spout platitudes that might make Jake want to do biting his head off just to shut Phin up. He placed his hand over the thigh twitching beside his own and did sliding it back and forth, which was supposed to be soothing. Um, no one had ever mentioned naked comforting methods; Jake sure didn’t seem to find it ‘soothing’. He sucked in a sharp breath as his cock did springing to attention. Blimey. It was like a jack in the box. Mm...
“Crikey, does that…happen a lot?” Phin wondered, scrolling through a flicker book of images; chock full of times when Jake must’ve been half-crippled in his skinny jeans.
“It does…of late.” The blue swirled with a luminescence that wasn’t caused by his strobe-light lamp. “Not before…but then, he didn’t want anyone else.”
“Yes. The night…it happened…she said ‘I found you‘. As if she’d been searching for me. I didn’t exactly think it through…but it didn’t seem so strange, in context. I was stoned…and could barely believe my luck. It just felt…necessary.”
“Necessary?” The word did ringing with recognition in Phin’s head, where it had so recently pinged into place.
“Yes. It felt somehow…inevitable, despite being such a brief…encounter. It was purely physical, I didn’t even know her name. Nor did I wonder who she was, or why she wanted me…I didn’t think at all. I was at Glastonbury, stoned on fuck knows what. It was just sex. I’ve never longed to see her again since that night, it wasn’t like…this. It just felt necessary, in that moment. I wasn’t even disappointed when I woke alone.”
“You didn’t want to see her again…even for more sex?” Phin asked, staggered. The thought of Jake leaving made a sharp pain do stabbing his insides.
“No. Which was the strangest thing of all. Briefly. I was…relieved. I felt wretched, the last thing I wanted was a morning-after-the-night-before post mortem. Christ, that sounds harsh…but she chose me. Then walked away. As much as I wanted it to happen, I didn’t instigate it, or bugger off while she was asleep.” Jake didn’t sound upset, just sort of resigned. But then, his eyes abruptly sparked as if he’d done sticking his finger in the socket.
“I…crap. Is that how you feel? Now that…you’ve scoffed your sandwich? Could you drive off without a backward glance tomorrow? Tell me the truth.” Jake pleaded, ensnaring Phin’s gaze with blazing blue. Twin laser beams boring holes into his head.
“No. I wanted to do scoffing it, even if it was the last thing I ever did. I wasn’t fibbing when I said I’d rather be dead than stop…that’s how necessary it felt. I still feel that way. If you’re gone when I wake up—which would be a bit weird, cos you live here—but all the same, I would be devastated. Bummer, I shouldn’t have done telling you that…it was inconsiderate,” Phin winced and tried to do amending his words with ones every bit as true. “I wouldn’t do blaming you though, I wouldn’t want to put up with me either.”
“It wasn’t inconsiderate, Phin…I asked you how you felt, you told me. I’m glad you did… I—fuck, everything I want to say sounds too much. More than you’d want to hear.”
“That’s impossible…my ears are as greedy as the rest of me. You couldn’t do wanting too much. If it was something new I might do fretting about doing it wrong…or letting you down, but that’s my bad, not yours. I want you, all of you… Less would feel too scratchy to do bearing…it would drive me demented. That is much too much wanting,” Phin owned, dipping his head to do staring at the duvet snarled in his clutches.
“Phin…you can’t know how you’ll feel, if—”
“Yes I can. I always know how I’ll feel, even if I haven’t done it or it hasn’t happened before. I can…picture it in advance, which sounds daft, but it’s still true. It’s like…virtual feeling? It always matches the reality anyhoo…much the same as feeling colours. I don’t think about that either, I just can,” Phin shrugged. “Do you want to do more talking or…” He turned onto his side a smidge more and threw a leg across Jake’s thighs. “That doesn’t look very comfy…” he noted, glancing downwards, with eyes every bit as greedy as Jake’s jack-in-the-box cock.
“Already…?” He was definitely doing teasing. There was no negating that.
“Well…I did do waiting for a long time,” Phin sighed.
“It was only a few days.” Jake smirked.
“It wasn’t. I’ve done waiting forever for you.”
“Yes, please.” Phin grinned, blinking a bit.
He found himself flat on his back almost before he saw Jake spring forwards. Plastered to the bed by the wondrous weight of Jake’s body; a scorch of skin and clash of cocks that snatched his breath away. His wrists seemed to be pinned to the pillow either side of his head, somehow. Crikey, Jake was fast…and so many other things Phin could only do guessing at. A whole world of possibilities he’d never done dreaming of. That was p’raps for the best, on the freedom to do so front.
“Forever, huh? It seems I have a lot of lost time to make up for…so tell me, what exactly have you been waiting to do?”
“Anything. Everything.” Phin smiled, gazing up into a blue ablaze with wonderment. As if he was extraordinary, when Phin had never felt less exceptional in his life. A gift in itself. “All of it. All of you…”